Monday, April 23, 2012

Lessons I've Learned from Disney Princesses

Since it’s National Princess Week and the week immediately following my magical Disney vacation (that I wish had never ended), I’m talking about various lessons that can be gleaned from (most of) the Disney Princesses!
1. Snow White of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
DO NOT accept food that is not totally sealed from strangers. In fact, don’t accept ANY food from strangers. Especially from someone who looks like an old crone. Also, people will not like you if you have a voice that hits too high of a register for most humans to hear comfortably.

2. Cinderella of Cinderella (1950)
If you want something done, do it yourself. Seriously, maybe if Cinderella had followed this rule, she wouldn’t have dealt with the whole carriage-turning-back-into-a-pumpkin-come-midnight. I know everything works out in the end because she marries the prince or whatever, but she could have stayed for the whole ball! Also, any cat named after the Devil should be avoided. As should its owners.

3. Princess Aurora of Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Sometimes actions have unexpected consequences (re: the correlation between pricking a finger and sleeping for a hundred years, which really, no one could have predicted save fairies). Princes with real names (like Prince Phillip) tend to be more useful dudes to have around, as they are up to the task of slaying evil sorceresses-turned-dragons. Sidenote: I’m curious as to whether or not Aurora ever gets over the whole being-lied-to-her-entire-life thing.

4. Ariel of The Little Mermaid (1989)
Always ask questions before signing binding legal documents. For instance, “Why would this sea witch with a reputation for taking horrific advantage of people want my voice? Is it possible that would hinder me from fulfilling my agreement with her?”

5. Belle of Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Even if someone has a terrifying appearance, they might have one bitchin’ library to share with you. What, did you think I was going to talk about how they might have a gentle soul and shouldn’t be judged by their cover? HA! Come on guys, this is a BOOK blog. I have to focus on the important things in the story.

6. Princess Jasmine of Aladdin (1992)
Can we talk about how Jasmine is a great role model for her audience? She is one strong female character. She doesn’t just marry any arrogant suitor that’s thrown at her, despite a heap of pressure being put on her to accept them. She rejects anyone that thinks they’re entitled to her hand and riches. Jasmien doesn’t grant blind trust to Aladdin, instead calling him out any time he lies to her. She’s one princess who isn’t to be messed with. Lesson: you don’t have to be a doormat to be a princess.

7. Mulan of Mulan (1998)
Okay, I absolutely adore Mulan, but I have to point out that she’s not a princess or even close. Her father is a retired soldier and Shang, her love interest, is an army captain. There’s no royalty here. I’ll include her because Disney does, also, I think she’s a great character. Anyway one lesson she brings to the table: sometimes you’re just going to have to dress in drag to get stuff done. Also, if you’re able to bring along a mystical creature to help you succeed, make it Mushu. That dragon is fantastic.

8. Rapunzel of Tangled (2010)
Disney princesses can have their emo moments too. Also, a frying pan makes for a wonderful weapon in a pinch. A lesson I learned about myself as a result of viewing this film is the fact that I can harbor a completely unrealistic desire to have an adorable cartoon chameleon as my close friend and companion and be totally okay with who I am.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to talk about lessons from Pocahontas or Princess Tiana-I haven’t seen Pocahontas in years and can barely remember the story. The closest I’ve come to it was the two minutes spent on it during Fantasmic! at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and let me tell you, you don’t get too much of the story in that.  Also, I’ve yet to see The Princess and the Frog. They took it off Netflix instant watch! Now I have to wait for the DVD to get mailed. I’m really curious about it, especially considering how popular she was amongst the Bippity Boppity Boutique frequenters.

HOW AWESOME IS THIS? It's a few of the princesses dressed as their villains. Whoever did this is fantastic.

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